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read my profile sign my guestbook  Name: Mona Birthday: 11/8/1989 Gender: Female Interests: God, music, typical girl stuff ya know...no? oh well...ooh airplanes...God willing, i'll be a pilot one day, fighter jets...yes! hmm...what am i interested in? IONO! ....... Expertise: procrastination...pretending to be mad...poking people while they're stretching/yawning.... speed racing....WINNING ALL THE TIME or at least when i'm up against amado...pretending to be sad...being lost/gone :D ...writing long meaningless letters...being defensive D-FENCE! ummm and last but not least being corny no wait ok second to last but now...last but not least being oh so cool....oh so very cool... Occupation: Military Industry: Government Message: message meEmail: email me AIM:  XOyouL0VEMEnotOX
Member Since: 6/22/2004 |
wow...i haven't been here in so long. looking back at all my old post i had such an innocent way of looking at life i guess you could say.i was...dorkier, cornier, and more free spirited. i miss the old monica...i'm not gonna lie. when i wasn't so tied up in boy problems. when i knew where i stood with God. when i took advantage of everyday. when i let things not get to me. i wanna go away to college, nacagdoches isn't that far but it's still away from everything i've ever known. i've been told many a times that before i leave i need to figure out who i am, what i stand for, what i believe, and not let people break me down. i know it's a little late for new year's resolutions but with the new school year coming up, i'd like to make this one. to figure out who i am. pretty broad and a typical teenage question but really. when you go to sleep at night do you ever just lay there and wonder why God took the time to make you. why you were put here on this earth. it must of been for something, but for what? and i guess after getting out of such a long and serious relationship at such a young age, i now find myself feeling....like..."what now?" i think we were too young to get so serious. and because of it i didn't know how to not let myself be all about him. even if you do think it's always been about me. i completely devoted myself to him and now i just don't know where to go. i don't know how to be about me...and everytime i try i get repramanded and tagged as selfish. i think that every once in while you have to be "selfish" and stop getting caught up and lost in everyone else and start looking at the person you've become and ask yourself...is this who you want to be now and for the rest of your life? my answer is no. my biggest problem is trying to be a people pleaser. you want this person to like you and you want that person to love you and in the end no one's happy. and i guess what has always hurt me the most is trying to please people and then falling short. it wasn't good enough, you still screwed it up somehow. what i guess i've been learning about myself is that i've been living off of other people's approval. if someone didn't like my shirt, i never wore it again, if someone didn't like the way i did my makeup, i re-did it. it's scary to think that i could be so easily swayed, a pushover. wow. it's time to stand firm and figure out who this person looking back at me really is, and not be so dependant on other people because i want them to like me, or love me for that matter. yep. a pushover + a pushover = 2 people falling flat on their faces | |||
1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 13 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. | |
it's funny how 10 days ago i was GREAT i wonder what happened... | |||
i had something to say but i totally forgot...dangit! i was gonna go to the battle of the bands but jenn couldn't go and i didn't wanna go by myself so i just didn't go. i'm really hungry, i wanna go to Chicago for some pizza..yum! oh right now i remember...i should be getting my permit next week. so hopefully i'll have my license by amy's birthday...hopefully. yea yea i gotta do homework. weekend homework sucks! good bye good bye | |||
i haven't updated in a while so here i go... so basically, life is GREAT, i now know why these are the best days of our lives and why a few years from now we'll be calling these the good 'ol days...yep...yep....
and i just realized that there is a soundtrack to the movie "Spirit" which i love!!!! and it's by bryan adams, no wonder i liked it. | |||
